Life gives you character

I love to drive down a road full of houses with character. The ones that have stood the test of time, that are unequal. Age only makes them more remarkable. They are not cheap, and are truly unique—they have been built with patience and quality. They have a personality all their own. That is how a home should look, and how it should feel. Unfortunately, most homes today are built in a rush, without thought for excellence.

Based completely on emotion we decided to buy a house that is exactly 100 years old. It is slightly quirky and by no means perfect. Some days I adore it, other days, it's faults drive me crazy. It has a personality all it's own, and it feels like home.

People can also posses this same amount of character. Age only seems to enhance their excellence. They have let time refine them, and they have built their lives with patience and quality. They are not perfect but when you are with them, you feel like you are home. If you have a chance to meet someone like this, savor every moment, be in awe! Learn from them!

We are not born with character; life gives us our flavor. It may be bitter, sweet, sour, spicy, even odd. Someone with character will tell you where you stand. You will be able to trust them with your life. Their trials have enhanced them. They are empathic. They are wise. You are better, because of knowing them. They have stood the test of time, they are unique: life has given them character.

Old age brings out your worst qualities

I have met some amazingly happy people. Their eyes still have a mischievous twinkle and the lines on their faces show a life full of smiles. They are kind and spirited and still enjoy life to its fullest.

I also have met a few that have none of those things. Life has sucked out their vitality. They have a permanent frown. They have never discovered the wisdom that comes with age, and are the true definition of misery.

I got married very young. Most consider this a handicap, but I looked at it as an advantage. I had not become set in my ways. My husband and I have grown up together. If I had to get married today, I would have a much harder time being adaptable. I am a creature of habit, and my habit is to have things my way. Age has enhanced my worst qualities.

If you are generally a happy, flexible, good-natured person, you will probably stay that way. You will age gracefully, and will appreciate the wisdom that comes with experience. Your life will reflect joy and peace. You will be surrounded by people who adore you and value your input.

On the other hand, if you’re grouchy, set in your ways, dogmatic, bitter and judgmental at a young age, life will only get worse with time. As you age, you no longer care what other people think, and politeness is a waste of time. The true you is magnified, and unfortunately for all around you, your worst qualities become larger than life.

Forgiveness is the ONLY option

I consider myself to be a logical person, so I have explored all of my options. Here they are: resentment, anger, bitterness, blame, hate. Truthfully, I have tried them all on for size. Do you know which one fits best? None of them. They all felt uncomfortable to me. I have seen many lives ruined from not letting go of the hurt people have caused them.

Let’s say you’re in your twenties, thirties or forties. You’ve jumped around from relationship to relationship, you’re broke, rely on medication or alcohol to deal with reality, and you relive all the past hurts inflicted on you. What right did they have to say that to you? How dare they treat you that way! Those many little conversations you have in your brain when you’re all alone. All those feelings of anger, hurt and resentment. Never directed at yourself; always at others. They are the reason you are broke, homeless, divorced, addicted.… So let me ask you: how far has that gotten you? Has it benefited you in any shape or form?

I am going to go out on a limb to say that every family member you know has been hurt at one time or another. Imagine two siblings with the same parents, raised in the same household. One turns out to have a happy life and the other only finds misery. What is the difference? Forgiveness.

This is probably the hardest lesson I have had to learn. To forgive is to grant pardon without harboring resentment. Do you know how hard that is? How many people actually do that? That’s not to say you were not hurt, maybe severely. You may never want to see that person again. But for your own sake, can you forgive and move on?

What if every time you felt anger, resentment, blame, bitterness and hate it cost you $100, and every time you showed forgiveness (even to yourself), you earned $100. How long would it take you to change? Could you change? We all can … it just requires more effort than we are willing to invest. Forgiveness is hard work. It does not come naturally. From this point on, think of forgiveness as the ONLY option.