Showing posts with label life dysfunctional. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life dysfunctional. Show all posts

Monday, February 7, 2011

Regret is our GPS

Regret goes hand-in-hand with loss. What kind of regrets will we have in life? How many decisions do you look back on and wish you could change? When you face loss, you always will have regrets. This is true not just with the death of a loved one, but with anything in life, including the loss of your job, your home or your spouse.

The worst part of regret is that, if you don’t have any, you will never learn from your mistakes. On the other hand, if you have too many, you will always be looking behind you and never move forward. So the lesson I learned is this: when you feel regret, stop and think about what it’s trying to tell you.

I regret that, during the last conversation I had with my dad, I was too busy to stop and cherish our talk. I didn’t sit down and enjoy our conversation. Did I tell him I loved him? I don’t remember—I was in too much of a rush. So what does this tell me? That, as usual, I was being impatient and thinking about things and not people.

My regrets are unsettling. They make me doubt my future decisions and also make me aware of my many failures. Regrets are much like a Global Positioning System. They are the annoying voice reminding you that somewhere along the trip you have gotten off course. They alert us when we have gone in the wrong direction. They prod us to take a new route. We may choose to ignore the advice our regrets are offering, but that will only result in us becoming thoroughly lost. On the other hand, if we listen to our regrets, we can change our path and safely arrive at our preprogrammed destination. We all know where we want to go; the hard part is arriving at our destination. Next time the annoying voice of regret tries to speak, it’s best to listen. Chances are, you have made a wrong turn somewhere along the way.


What are your biggest regrets? What have you learned from regret?

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Monday, January 31, 2011

Patience!

I am the queen of impatience! I would like to live in the faraway land of instant results, have-it-now, don’t-make-me-wait . . . but so far I haven’t found it. To my dismay, what I have discovered is that eighty percent of life involves the one quality I am lacking: patience—the ability to not act hastily and persevere with joyfulness. The other twenty percent of life involves actually doing: seizing the opportunity and acting.

The positive side is that I am consistent: consistently impatient with everything in my life. I was impatient to grow up, to get married, to buy a house, to have children. I am impatient with people, money, time, my kids, my husband, my family. So what do I gain from my impatience, besides gray hair? Truthfully, nothing! There is not one situation that my impatience has made better.

Here are some words that go hand in hand with patience: enduring without complaint (not a chance), tolerant (nope), tranquil (no way). So what’s the opposite of patience? Irritable (for sure), resentful (okay, but I’m trying to show forgiveness), restless (ninety-nine percent of the time). Is this a HUGE flaw for me? Yes, and the sooner I acquire the skill of patience, the sooner I can move on to another.

So what good things come to those who wait? Peace of mind, better relationships, lasting friendships, a calm heart, spiritual and emotional health, and respect. These are all things I desire. Impatience is waiting for something to happen while life passes you by. It robs you of joy and contentment. Patience is about enduring without complaint, working hard and savoring every moment along the way. So even though I wear the “impatient” crown well, I would much rather be the queen of : what’s the rush, take your time, it’s worth the wait!