Sisters are a prize

I have not won much in my life. It’s very rare I will enter a contest because I don’t want to face the disappointment of losing. When I was about eight years old I mustered up the courage to enter a competition sponsored by a cereal company. It entailed writing a commercial. Mine involved cavemen, a time machine and a box of cereal. To my amazement I came in second place. I won money and my very own camera. I was overjoyed. That camera was a treasure. I took it everywhere and held it in the highest esteem.

Without my realization I had already won a prize that exceeded that long forgotten camera: It was my little sister. When I was six years old, my life changed forever. It was the day my sister was born. I can’t remember being very impressed with our first meeting. But my apathy soon turned to affection. This new addition to our family was just what we needed. Much like my youngest daughter, my sister was spirited and stubborn. She was tenacious! You must need these qualities to thrive as the baby in the family.

For the first time, I felt a bond that I would only feel again when my own children were born. It was a protective, maternal love. I worried about her, I tried to discipline her, I watched over her. At the same time she drove me crazy. I felt my parents let her get away with more than my brother and I could even think about.

Then we grew up. I moved out and our relationship changed. I would come to visit and we began enjoying spending time together. We had the same perspective, came from the same background and had inherited the same sense of humor. What more could you ask for in a friend? To this day, my sister is my closest ally. It’s hard to find a better companion than your own flesh and blood.

When I was pregnant with my third child, I hoped that it would be a girl. I wanted my daughter to have a sister. They too are six years apart, and my oldest has taken on the same motherly role. We let our youngest get away with more than my first two could even think about. They fight, they laugh, they cry … in short, they’re sisters. I hope that someday they realize how valuable they are to each other. Because a sister is a prize of the highest esteem.

Let them value you

Many small, life long events led to my loss of value. Because I battle feelings of worthlessness, I manage to sabotage my own efforts. I never feel like I deserve the best. I wonder if I am worthy of the affection I am given. Am I worthy of the many blessings I have received? Feelings of unworthiness are like rust, they slowly and corrosively damage even the best relationships.

These feelings usually start in childhood. From birth, children need to know how valuable they are. If the parent tells a child by word or action that anything is more important than one of the strongest bonds in the universe, it will cause permanent damage, that may take years to show up. All the child will understand is that they have come in second place to a new relationship, work, alcohol, drugs, or any other item the parent chooses over them. They will always feel they are not important enough to be a priority, this makes them incapable of appreciating their own magnificence.

It is extremely difficult for the unworthy to accept that they may be valuable to others, that what they say matters, that they are needed and cherished. If we don’t let others appreciate us, we are limiting them. They want to express their gratitude, but we deny it. They want to show us adoration, but we ignore it. We are cheating everyone involved. We might not feel like a work of art, but to someone else we may be the Mona Lisa. So the next time you are fortunate enough to have someone realize your true value, let them.

Confidence does not equal value

Confidence is self-assurance and trust in yourself. This quality can be funny and elusive. It likes to play hide-and-seek. Confidence is fleeting. It can hold your hand one moment and leave your side the next. Confidence is shallow. It hangs out on the surface but it never reaches the core. It can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

Value, on the other hand, is something deeper. It has nothing to do with external factors. Value doesn’t care if you’re fat, skinny or have acne. It sticks by your side for better or worse. It holds your hand in good and bad times. It reaches into the deepest part of your soul. It’s the belief that keeps you from letting someone treat you badly. It’s the system in place to take care of you. If you value yourself, you’ll take care of your spiritual, emotional, mental and physical health.

You can have confidence but lack value. You may not fully understand your excellence. You can learn to be confident but you have to feel value. Some are born knowing their value, but others are taught their whole life that it doesn’t exist, so they never search for it. Like any treasure, it will take diligence to find your worth. It will take reflection, searching and desire.

I know many confident people who lack value. They do not cherish themselves. They neglect their health, they ignore their bodies, they punish their minds. Every thought, every action, is based on the notion of their own worthlessness. This struggle is like cancer. It’s internal, unnoticed by others. But eventually it will produce symptoms, and sometimes even death.

It is up to each of us to realize our value, to understand what makes us priceless. Value will not fluctuate from day to day. It will be our compass, and will give us wisdom and direction. Our confidence is the decorative wrapping on a package; our value is the gift inside.


PLEASE Share, Digg, Follow, or Like Me. I will be forever indebted!

They may be my purpose

I have seen many people hit a certain age and become dissatisfied with their lives. They feel that they have no purpose, no meaning, no direction. Some only feel satisfied when they’re working. That gives them a mission. Others feel as if something is missing, but like a dog chasing it's tail, they never quite reach it. I too have experienced these feelings. The uncertainty, the discontentment, the restlessness. The search for your purpose. Sadly most never find it. They continue searching, with frustrating, life-ruining results.

When all three of my children started school I felt the waves of aimlessness wash over me. What now? What direction should I go? Truthfully, I had no idea. I decided to start with a small purpose. My aim was to try to make one person smile, each and every day. It was a simple goal, but it worked. It helped me to not think so much about myself and try to figure out how to make others happy. It felt good to have a small purpose.

Parents can easily lose their direction, they can lose their value. Your to-do list is long, and can take over eighteen years to finish. Even when the time is up, you still don’t know if you did a good job. You won’t know if you’re successful until years later. There is no instant gratification, no immediate reward, no paycheck at the end of the week, nothing to gauge your worth. But a good mom or dad is the most valuable commodity on the planet. Parenting is a grandiose purpose!

No matter how old my children are, no matter how far away they fly, I will always be their mother. That is the most important thing I can give them. Someday my life will change but today my goal is to have a successful marriage, to appreciate the family I do have and to be the best mother I can possibly be. That is no small purpose.

Did you have good parents or bad? I would love to hear!

Please SHARE me, FOLLOW me, LIKE me or DIGG me.