Struggle transforms

It seems that things often work out, for a reason beyond our comprehension. The things we fight and deny are the same things we need the most. I have seen a golden thread spun out of many bad situations. Perhaps you would rather avoid the grief; but if you can’t, at least you can let it mold you.

The last time I had dinner with my family, I felt overwhelming gratitude. I was happy and content. Sadly, it has taken me many years and much struggle to reach this point, but I have finally found peace. My husband asked me later, “Would you have believed ten years ago that you would feel this way?” Not a chance!

My dad’s death has opened many doors for his wife. I am sure she would have preferred to avoid the sadness of his loss, but she couldn’t. The choices she has made since his death are probably not the same ones she would have made before his death. She has taken a bad situation and found the golden thread.

Being an awkward child, I fought learning how to ride my bike. I was content running after all the kids on our block as they glided around on their bicycles. Finally my family had enough and I was forced to learn something most children can’t wait to master. It took much patience, and quite a few tears—mostly from those trying to teach me—but I finally got it. After all the struggle, my life improved. Something that had seemed impossible now was effortless.

Life can be the same way. We instinctively recoil when a difficulty is placed in our lap. As if it were a snake, we panic and push it away, pretending it doesn’t exist. We try to get as far away as possible. But this often just prolongs the agony. Struggling is an indicator that we are under construction. It means that we are changing and learning, not only about things around us, but about our own strength. It may require patience and quite a few tears, but after all the struggle, something that seemed impossible will become effortless. We will emerge like butterflies, amazed at our own capacity to transform.

I don’t believe in luck

“If it wasn’t for BAD luck he would have no luck at all.” I have heard this expression many times in reference to my family members. They are the unfortunate few that seem to never get a break, who always seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and who only attract bad luck. So it may surprise you that I don’t believe in luck.

I don’t always make the right choices, but I have learned that I can adapt and make the best of a bad situation. Luck is giving up your control to chance. But most things don’t happen by chance. They happen by diligence and perseverance. The best inventions did not come from luck. They came from ingenuity and hard work. They came from years of persistence that led to one amazing day of discovery. But when the story is told, those details are left out and it becomes all about luck.

There are always random, unexpected events beyond our control. Sometimes these fall in our favor; other times we are dealt a bad hand. The ones who appear lucky are the ones who use the adversity as an opportunity to learn. They walk away from a negative experience with a new perspective and outlook on life. The unlucky can be playing with the same cards, but end up folding. They give up before the game gets exciting. The adversity creates bitterness and self-pity. They are poor losers.

My odds are 50/50. I can use hard work, a sense of humor, ingenuity and determination to tip them in my favor. I can look for opportunities as they arrive and let life teach me with the bitter and the sweet. I don’t believe in luck, but I do believe in myself!